


longing

by wastedren



Category: Hyouka & Kotenbu Series
Genre: Feelings Realization, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastedren/pseuds/wastedren
Summary: when he looks at satoshi his body and mind is overwhelmed by this feeling of yearning, by this feeling of wanting something.
Relationships: Fukube Satoshi/Oreki Houtarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	longing

houtarou doesn't know what this feeling is, this feeling of longing. he longs for something- something he doesn't know, when he looks at satoshi his body and mind is overwhelmed by this feeling of yearning. by this feeling of wanting something- a pain in his heart when satoshi looks at him and laughs, a gleam in his eyes. his heart tightens and he hungers for something unknown, passionate about a mystery that overtakes his mind.

of course, when this keeps happening- a jump in his heart, heat in his face, that only occurs when satoshi does anything. he comes to a conclusion,

this must be love.

and even though it sounds right, something deep in him says it's not- says it's wrong. satoshi is his best friend after all,

even though it feels like everything clicked into place it can't be right.

so he investigates, ignores the longing in his heart when satoshi laughs and pokes fun at him, when he hums whenever he takes a bite of food, when he skips when he’s happy, when he taps his feet in a certain way whenever he's focusing, when his brows furrowed and his lips pout, when his eyes shine in the light like molten copper- bright and airy and holding a thousand stars, when he looks at the sky with peace on his face- the sun playing on his skin in a way that takes his breath away-

now this isn't right. he shouldn't be waxing poetics about satoshi like a lovesick fool, about the way satoshi laughs- quiet and cute with his shoulders shaking like- no, this is exactly what he isn't supposed to do. 

but it's difficult to not admire satoshi, to not enjoy and observe every little thing he does- the quiet quirks and habits he has.

it's difficult to ignore the tightness that overtakes his heart when satoshi looks at him and smiles with something in his eyes he can't discern. can't hide the blush that rises to his face when satoshi bumps against him- his body warm and alive.

can't hide the yearning that builds up in him- warm, bright, tight, so strong that sometimes he can't bring himself to look at him because if he were he was sure he'd combust and spill everything he was desperately trying to hide.

he breaks in a quiet morning, lazy and slow- the sun warm and hazy, bearing down on his neck. satoshi is beside him, leaning on a wall and no one else is there, just them. standing together on an early morning with no one else in sight.  
it's comforting, being with satoshi like this. the content that envelops him reminds him of home, of the comfort of his bed and the warmth of a morning coffee.

satoshi is looking at the sky, thinking of everything and nothing. his eyes are shining even in the hazy light. cicadas sing as he talks,

"there's something bothering you, right?"

of course he noticed, it's hard to hide anything from satoshi so he doesn't bother to lie even though anxiety is eating up his body and biting his mind, "yeah."

"what is it?"

houtarou forgets to breathe, his hand clenched tight as anxiety and fear overtakes his mind. he should tell him, satoshi will figure it out anyway but houtarou is scared of the potential burden- about this friendship he cares so deeply about, to be taken away by his own foolish actions. he wants to answer but nothing comes out and self hate drowns his mind.

satoshi speaks up, "whatever you say won't make me hate you."

is what he says but how does he know that? surely, if he spilled his guts on the ground like he wanted him to he would despise him- hate him and break this friendship he found so much comfort in. and like he could he read his mind, satoshi speaks,

"i've known you for too long to hate you. do you really think i'll stop being your friend just because of something you said?"

houtarou glares at him without meaning to, "yeah right..." he mumbles and he can feel satoshi's smile even though he's not looking at him.

"do you not want to talk about it?"

houtarou does, he wants to so badly. but his breath is stuck in his throat and his mind is blank and yet full with everything and anything. and instead of the words he wants to say- instead of the idea he has in his head, he blurts out in the most inelegant way,

"i don't hate you."

houtarou wants to die but satoshi doesn't say anything, he smiles in the way thats telling him to continue- to take his time forming up the words in his head.

his heart is pounding and his face is red but he continues, "i love you."

and though it isn't the way he wanted to confess, he's glad he managed to say anything at all even though he feels embarrassed to his core.

satoshi smiles at him, red pinching his cheeks, "i love you too."

all the oxygen leaves his lungs like a punch to the gut, "huh?"

satoshi doesn't laugh at him as he struggles to take in what he just said. houtarou is flustered beyond relief and he wants to say so much but his mind is blanking and he can't think of anything besides the screaming in his head, chanting the phrase again and again.

"are you sure?" houtarou asks, because this can't be true, maybe satoshi is mixing something up (houtarou knows this isn't true, satoshi isn't the type to do that).

this time satoshi does laugh, "yes, i'm a hundred percent sure."

houtarou doesn't know what to do now, he's happy-euphoric that satoshi feels the same but what is he supposed to do now? the only romantic content he saw were glimpses of the movies his sister put on tv and he can barely remember what they were even about. 

but satoshi breaks him out of his thoughts. he grabs his hand in his and kisses his cheek.

then his mind is screaming even louder, alarms blaring and fire blazing.

"let's go eat something," satoshi smiles, his face colored with pink.

the cicadas are singing and at that moment everything hits him at once. satoshi looks beautiful, with the sun hitting his face and making his hair glow, his eyes shine and glisten and everything about him is glowing.

and in a hazy morning, with the sun bearing down on his neck houtarou finally comes to a conclusion,

he loves satoshi, truly and deeply and with everything in his soul.


End file.
